Wednesday, November 30
i'm done with HOPE!
Finish each day and be done with it. I have done what I could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; now time to forget them as soon as i can. Does it break my heart? Of course. Every moment of every day, into more pieces than my heart was made of. I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent.
I never thought about thing at all. Everything changed and that distanced, and that distance wedged itself between me and my happiness. It wasn't the world and it wasn't the bombs and burning building. It was me and my thing, the cancer of never letting go. Is ignorance bliss? I don't know, but its so painful to think. And tell me what did thinking ever do for me? To what place did i thinking ever bring me? i think and i think and i think. I’ve thought myself out of happiness a million times, but never once into it.
I’m try to bring peacefulness in my day... but peace it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structure. And however undramatic the pursuit of peace, the pursuit must go on.To open your innate nature and to feel something from the bottom of your heart it is necessary to remain silent.
And remember, lost yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered, for they are gone forever. I will begin it serenely and with high spirit to be encumbered with my old nonsense.